After the Ball's Dog Pet Star: Simon, the "unadoptable" dog

Life had not been going so well for the five-pound chihuahua mix now known as Simon. He’d been found as an injured stray and taken into a shelter – his past wiped away, his future up for grabs. It’s a story all stray or abandoned shelter animals know too well.

One of his eyes had to be removed because the injury had caused a serious infection. He also had (and still has) a gigantic tongue – a rare condition known as macroglossia. A good portion of it lolls down most of the time, even when his mouth is closed.

If you look at Simon from across the room, you could be forgiven if you thought he had half a hot dog dangling from his mouth. The condition can cause all sorts of issues, including trouble breathing and feeding. (Fortunately, the dog was a champion eater.) The shelter gave him the name Gene, after Gene Simmons, the bassist for the band KISS who’s known in part for his enormous tongue.

The scrap of a dog with his one eye and giant tongue didn’t seem to have much curb appeal to adopters. He sat in his kennel week after week waiting for a home. Even his status as a potential senior (the age range listed was a wide one – 6 to 10 years old) didn’t score him any serious interest.

There were no takers. Weeks turned to months.

Then one day, Jeff and his wife, Lula, walked in. Their hearts went out to the dog no one else wanted. They thought he was “ridiculously cute.” Jeff figured with the dog’s grizzled looks, he must be on the older end of the age estimate. “If he’s only 6,” Jeff said, “he’s a hard 6.”

Simon went home to live with Jeff and Lula, to join the rest of the pack of other “unadoptable” rescue animals, and has been a key member of the household since.

That was 11 years ago. This puts Simon somewhere between 17 and 21. Jeff is rethinking that upper age estimate. “There’s no way he could be 21. Could he? Maybe he really was a hard 6.”

Simon has been a character since he arrived at their house. He’s quiet and pleasant, yet he’s a bit aloof and very stubborn, according to Jeff.

“Very stubborn,” he repeats for emphasis.

For instance, if Simon wants a dog bed and another dog is in it, he’ll walk over and nudge the dog and nudge and nudge until the formerly sleeping dog gives up and moves, usually with a sigh.

 “He seems to annoy our two other dogs, to be honest,” Jeff says. But that doesn’t seem to bother Simon. He just stares at them with his one eye as he settles into his freshly pilfered bed.

***

Jeff and Lula have been rescuing unwanted animals like Simon for 20 years.

“We’re kind of obsessed with the underdogs. We like to adopt the unadoptables,” he says.

The underdogs have included undercats and underguineapigs. Since 2004 there have been 12 little dogs, seven cats, and four guinea pigs. Each has had a hard-luck story well beyond the standard rescue animal.  Many of them were little geriatrics who had health issues or had a tough life, but with a little medical attention and a lot of love, they quickly recovered to be healthy and happy.

Jeff and Lula encourage everyone to consider adopting animals who have special needs.

“It’s so rewarding. These dogs are so grateful, and so are we” he says. “It gives our lives so much purpose and meaning. There’s nothing that comes close to the feeling of helping animals who really need help.”

***

Simon looks extremely Chihuahua-ish, maybe with a little something else sprinkled in. Jeff and Lula recently tested Simon’s DNA because they were curious what that “something else” could be.

The funny thing about dogs is that they’re not always what you think they are. Sure, DNA tests aren’t necessarily accurate, but they can come close.

Simon’s test came back as 85 percent Chihuahua, and 15 percent “unresolved.” The Embark test’s “supermutt analysis” determined that there could be some poodle, some Australian cattle dog, and some Pomeranian. Nothing certain. The Aussie possibility surprised Simon’s parents. Jeff ponders the possibilities of this breed being part of Simon. “How? Where?”

What was even more surprising was Simon’s “wolfiness” score. Wolfiness isn’t about recent dog-wolf hybridization, but the number of ancient genetic variants surviving many generations.

According to Embark, “most dogs have wolfiness scores of 1% or less. We find populations and breeds with higher scores of 2-4% occasionally, and unique dogs with scores of 5% or above more rarely.”

Just one glance as Simon and you’d put his score in the sub-basement of wolfiness. And yet this little dog scored a whopping 5.3 percent wolfiness.

Jeff conjectures. Maybe that’s where he gets his determined nature. Lula and Jeff are proud that this little dog is a wolf in chihuahua’s clothing.

***

The wee wolfish dog has had a couple of close calls lately. Jeff and Lula thought maybe it was his time, and were bracing themselves for the potential immense loss of this tiny big character. In his second medical emergency, he had a mysterious neurological “event” where he could not walk and his  tongue was turning blue. But brave little Simon stayed calm, perhaps calling on those ancient wolf genes. 

They whisked him off to the vet, where they also discovered that his body temperature was 5 degrees below normal. There was no way to know for sure what caused these symptoms. The vet made an educated guess on the best course of treatment, but it did not look good for Simon. But when they brought him home at the end of the day, he started showing signs of improvement, and within three weeks, Simon was back.

Simon got his very own graphic rendition for his stardom at the Paris-themed After the Ball gala in October!

Since his mysterious, near-death episodes, Jeff says Simon has changed.

“It’s a rebirth, a rising from the ashes,” he says. “All of a sudden, he’s a sweet, cuddly little guy. He’s more affectionate, and just really great. It sounds crazy, but he has transformed.

Jeff and Lula have no idea what’s next for Simon, but he’s making the most of each day he has to hang out with his pack.  

Lula and Jeff sum up the last 20 years like this: “Adopting Simon and the other little ‘unadoptables’ has been an amazing journey. We could never have imagined how much joy they have brought to our lives.”

Simon is FAAS's Dog Pet Star for this year's Paris-themed After the Ball, our signature fundraising event taking place October 18. Tickets are on sale now!